12 November, 2011
05 November, 2011
05 September, 2011
and jay died ..............the week of the hurricane irene.......................................we are old, i tell myself. ........so jay was a cousin of mine. memories flood me as the county goes under water. .....................why do they hate the word, old. ...............?? who knows. the rains woke me up . .........lightning, thunder, echoing in the forest . will a tree fall, tonight? ................so tired. body stiff, and weary, yet agitated at the same time. jay and i so long ago were good kid buddies together, monopoly on the country porch. it rained. then , only a shower, summer shower and jay and games and laughter. his mom was mean sometimes.............to jay. she wasn't to me....................my mom was mean , sometimes, but i loved her. she was soft and warm and fun and very much alive when she was alive. most of the time she wasn't mean. don't get me wrong. ........................memory is faulty. will a tree fall as i sleep? will i die when i sleep? i am so sleepy, i am.
25 August, 2011
words
words.................sometimes words come to me..............painted letters from a life of experiences. words, words, unlike a dance, unlike a painting. further from what seems close in nature to me. words, the sounds and meanings that confuse us all. and oh, a bronx kid never knew what to say gracefully.......relying on hand motions and facial expressions and dancing around while trying to communicate. and here it is the seventh decade of my life. hellooooooo. helllloooooo.
20 July, 2011
18 July, 2011
naked truth
hiding behind donald................doesn't all the girls do? hiding behind brothers, older, wiser, cleverer? hiding behind trees, oak, maple, pine. don't all the girls do? hide and don't seek me out. i am not seeable. no . hiding behind donald and the grownups laugh a lot , speaking yiddish, linoleum floor, grandma baked me a nut cake , just for me. round and round, kissing hello, kissing goodbye. soft cheeks to the touch, old grandma. today, so far in the future, but what is future? or Past? but life is here, today. today, i am alive. believe me, it comes as a suprise. hiding behind donald, safe little girl, curls bouncing on her neck, slanty eyes, yellow and full of suprise. . . hiding. dont find me out. you'll never guess who i am. no. you think me sweet. so sweet. but you 'll never see my naked mind, because, you don't want to.
19 January, 2009
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