wish i could do that!

and jay died ..............the week of the hurricane irene.......................................we are old, i tell myself. ........so jay was a cousin of mine. memories flood me as the county goes under water. .....................why do they hate the word, old. ...............?? who knows.                  the rains woke me up . .........lightning, thunder, echoing in the forest . will a tree fall, tonight? ................so tired. body stiff, and weary, yet agitated at the same time.                  jay and i so long ago were good kid buddies together, monopoly on the country porch. it rained. then , only a shower, summer shower and jay and games and laughter. his mom was mean sometimes.............to jay. she wasn't to me....................my mom was mean , sometimes, but i loved her. she was soft and warm and fun and very much alive when she was alive. most of the time she wasn't mean. don't get me wrong. ........................memory is faulty. will a tree fall as i sleep? will i die when i sleep? i am so sleepy, i am.